Archive for the ‘Observations’ Category

Rush: Your Dad’s Favorite Band

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Hundreds of dads will agree: Rush is their favorite band. I’ve met many different dads in my time, and a narrow majority of your dads choose Rush as their favorite band. My dad’s favorite band is Rush. So is my friend’s dad. And when I mention that Rush is my dad’s favorite band, many people mention a dad they know with that same musical preference.

Hundreds of dads will agree.

Hundreds of dads will agree.

Sure, there are many of your dads who will say the Beatles are their favorite band, or Journey, or even Jimmy Buffet; and that’s to be expected. But for such a large number of your dads to choose a band like Rush, an Prog Rock band that experiments with different time signatures and synthesizer heavy instrumentals, is interesting. You don’t hear about many of your dads lauding bands like Yes or Jethro Tull, but Rush is different.

Some dads, like my dad, genuinely enjoy the musical complexity of Rush. This is understandable, but cannot explain the band having such a mass appeal amongst your dads. Your dads of my generation did their partying in the 70s and 80s, and party they did on a myriad of substance. Some of your dads from this time enjoyed Rush because of the appreciation of the band though these substances. The curiosity still grows because your dads that appreciated Rush on substance could have appreciated Jimmy Buffet on the same substance, yet still prefer Rush.

Dads who like Rush are a varied lot. Different regions of the country and different socio-economical upbringings do not change your dads’ affinity for Rush. From the backwoods to the boardroom, dads love Rush.

If your dad is from Canada, forget it: Rush will be his favorite band by default. Canada has the highest concentration of dads whose favorite band is Rush, more than any other country. As was observed during the Olympics Canadian cultural pride is strong and unwavering. Canada would be the only country proudly exhibiting the fact that Nickelback are native sons. But when a country lauds a talented and adventurous band like Rush the Maple Leaf glows a little brighter.

I am left to conclude that Rush is a prefect accident in the world of classic rock, a combination of extremes combined to conjure a formula for classic rock success that creates some unexplainable force that can only be understood if you happened to be alive during this unique time period. The way music is presented today, only getting new music from popular incumbents and game show winners, we will never see another Rush, and future dads will suffer.

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Two for Tuesday Troubles

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

First off, happy Two for Tuesday.  I am always greatful that Q95 provides this wonderful service for one of the more meaningless days of the week.  Whether it was inspiration or alliteration, maybe even both, Tuesdays have special meaning because of Two for Tuesday.

I’m driving into work this morning when the radio starts playing a Lynard Skynard song.  Skynard songs are so ubiquitous and entrenched into commercial soundtracks that when you hear their songs on the radio you barely notice.  Knowing it was Two for Tuesday I was anticipating what they would play next.  The two Skynard songs I like are “Three Steps” and “Mr. Saturday Night Special”, which is rarely played.  When the song ended, Q95 went right into a new Skynard song, which of course was awful.

Luckily it wasn’t the song about how terrible people were who didn’t agree with George W. Bush.  The new song was about how much they used to rock and all they stuff they used to sing songs about.  What’s the point?  You already sang songs about the Southland.  You don’t need to write a song about how you used to write songs about the Southland.

Of course they don’t, and of course it’s old band paycheck rock.  You could tell by their new sound, which is Nickelback-esque, that incredibly generic sound all the most popular modern rock bands use.  The sound of paycheck rock.

And since the music in the new song sounds like Nickelback, and it’s new, it’s not classic rock!  It’s a new song performed by an old band, and should not be on the classic rock station.  A rock song has to age around 15 years before it is classic rock.  An old band shouldn’t get grandfathered into a rotation because they had some good tunes back in the day, especially if they have nothing better to sing songs about than the songs they used to sing.  Come on!

Another Two for Tuesday incident happened last night when I was driving home.  As I’ve mentioned before and will continue to mention, I am no expert on classic rock and will never pretend to know everything about it.  I’m just an enthusiastic fan.  With that said, I have never been able to tell the difference between Journey and Foreigner.  Last night they had a Two for Tuesday with Journey and Foreigner together, four songs without interruption, and I have no idea who started or ended it.  There will be future blogs about both Synard and JourneyForeigner to come.

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Posted in Dumbass Rock, Inert Rock, Observations, Paycheck Rock, Rants, Two for Tuesday | 1 Comment »

Deep Purple

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Deep Purple is the greatest rock band ever.  Never mind what I said in the last post; the Beatles are the default greatest band ever, but Deep Purple walks the fucking walk.  What did the Beatles ever say, “All you need is love?”  Are we that naive?  What if someone asked you, no, told you “Let’s go Space Truckin!’”  You’re getting in that truck.

Deep Purple came around that time in rock when things were starting to get stupid.  The politics and spirituality of the Sixties was coming to an end, but the party would not stop.  Deep Purple carried that torch into the next decade.

Both Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin were gaining attention around the same time in the late Sixties, and both have a similar chunky blues derivative about them.  Led Zeppelin veered off into a world of increasing complexities and Hobbits; the Viking hordes attacking the soft fields so green and moving through Kashmir.  While Led Zeppelin floated in the clouds Deep Purple was in your basement, packing your bong and lighting your black light posters.

Deep Purple beat you over the face with rock with lumbering visceral sounds that seemed to bubble from the belly of Satan and rattle your eardrums into submission.  They hold the Guinness record for “The Loudest Band”.  They never gave that shit to Motley Crue.

When my psychiatrist gave me a word association test the other day, one of the things he said was “classic rock”.  Even if I were responding beyond a subconscious state, I would have responded Deep Purple.  The psychiatrist was taken aback, like I had so many other bands to choose from.  How could I associate all of classic rock with Deep Purple?  The real question is, how can you not?

Classic rock in it purest form started in the Seventies where the venues got bigger, the speakers got louder, and everyone in the band had long hair, beards, and performed with their shirts open.  All the other bands of this golden era of classic rock had a gimmick or theme that drove the band.  Not Deep Purple.  If you stripped any of the golden era classic rock bands down to their basics, they would be Deep Purple.  That is why Deep Purple is the greatest classic rock band.

That, and because they rock.

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Beatles Backlash

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

The video game Rock Band released their Beatles volume about a month ago.  Everyone went nuts over the release of the video game.  Classic rock radio stations were dedicating days exclusive to the Beatles catalog with the DJs falling over themselves in the way they were lauding the music.  They never got that excited over Molly Hatchet.  VH1 started showing Beatles videos, but they weren’t actual videos, they were clips of the Rock Band video games.

Some New York myopic master craftsman of bloviation even declared Rock Band:Beatles to be the “most important video game ever.”  Fist of all, this guy probably never beat Super Mario Bros. and shouldn’t even get to talk about video games until he does.  And second…really?  Is jamming out Helter Skelter on a toy guitar going to open my eyes to life’s possibilities for the first time?  The basis for his title was the camaraderie and bridging of the generations the game would create.  The Wii already did that, taking videogames out of the basement and into the living room.  If mom wasn’t playing Wii, or any of the ten other Guitar Hero or Rock Band games out there, she’s not going to change her mind with this edition.

What makes the Beatles so great?  What makes them better than the Rolling Stones or the Kinks, both of which their contemporaries and still performing?  Pink Floyd, Velvet Underground, even the Beach Boys who were involved in a rivalry with the Beatles were experimenting and pushing the boundaries of rock and roll.  The debate never arises, like there are three certainties to life: death, taxes, and the Beatles are the greatest rock band ever.

The Beatles are credited for being the voice of their generation.  John Lennon is revered by many, even beyond Baby Boomers, as some mystical and spiritual institution.  People hang off his words and ideas like they have any more philosophical and spiritual meaning than Peter Noone’s.  Love, love, love wasn’t a two way street.  Lennon was a documented misogynist.  After all, this is the guy who wrote Norwegian Wood, a song about buring down some lady’s house because she wouldn’t sleep with him.  Paul McCartney is considered the asshole Beatle since he wanted to take what was so pure, magical and creative as the Beatles’ music and capitalize its lucrative potential to the max.  That drove the rift between John and Paul.  Selling records isn’t cool, and by that rational Ringo is by far the coolest Beatle.

Initially I blame the Baby Boomers for holding the Beatles in their lofty position in rock history.  Baby Boomers are convinced everything they ever did is the most important thing the world has ever seen.  Their ideas were infallible, their culture was absolute utopia, and their music was truly peerless; no other band shall ever approach the brilliance the bands of the 60s achieved.  I blame the Baby Boomers for a great many other things, like the ruinous state of the world.  We now see few of the radical ideas of the Baby Boomers ever changed the world.  We’ve moved on, except for the music, which even contemporary music publications linger the standard bands of the Sixties as the apex of music.

Ultimately, the Beatles were a perfect storm of a band, probably never to be repeated in the predictable future of music.  Their pop hits and friendly charm in the early Sixties built a base of loyal teenie-boppers (The damn New Kids on the Block are on a successful tour right now).  Plus with such a narrow and yet to be fragmented range of popular music at the time more people defaulted to liking the Beatles with the limited other options.  Then when all music went psychedelic, so did the Beatles, and so went their fanbase for the ride.  All of a sudden the teenie-boppers are all Hari Krishnahs and the Beatles are the greatest band ever for their creative daring, even though every other band was doing similar things.

Rock more or less peaked in the Sixties.  Though it hasn’t become less popular per se, rock’s diversity began to grow and splinter into different categories as did the rest of popular music.  Music has splintered into exponential categories and subcategories that appeal to their certain niche and never gather as substantial an audience as the Beatles enjoyed in the Sixties.  All that, and they made pretty good music too.

There is no good way to write about the Beatles.  If you fawn all over them you sound like everyone else in the world.  But if you critique the Beatles you’re that guy, that contrarian who’s just being a jagg trying to get a rise out of people cuz everyone loves the Beatles.   I’ve come to the conclusion that the Beatles will be the greatest band in the history of music for at least the next twenty years.  By then maybe there will be a consolidation of media as more companies buy other companies offering less options for receiving information.  Until then, the Beatles are the greatest rock and roll band ever.  Second best, Deep Purple.

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Is this Rock and Roll?

Monday, September 7th, 2009

I don’t know.  I hear a 10-piece orchestra – yeah, there’s the bassoon.  It seems like the song is gaining tempo like a borello; and did it just switch to a 6/8 rhythm.  And are these lyrics about circus clowns or something?  Is this rock and roll?  Oh wait, there’s the electric guitar.  It’s rock and roll.

Throughout its history, rock and roll has shared the same evolutionary and genetic traits as dogs.  It started as a dangerous wild wolf prowling the land and stalking your daughter.  Now some species of rock are like a yapping Pomeranian sitting in a rich lady’s purse, yet it’s still unanimously called rock and roll.

Here are some simple ways to classify a song rock and roll.  The simplest classification for rock and roll music is if the song contains electric guitars, unless it’s country, blues, gospel, or jazz music…or some kinds of rap music.  The you need to listen to the lyrics.  Still, it gets a little tricky but I have constructed a helpful chart for clarifications.

Baby – Rock, country, blues, jazz, rap

Bitch – Rock, rap, some blues

Devil – Rock, country, blues, jazz, gospel

Number of the Beast – Rock

Space Truckin’ – Rock or maybe if a country musician had some LSD

Another helpful tip is to think regionally or where you grew up and your favorite song.  If you grew up in the suburbs, your favorite song is a rock song.  Now recall this favorite song against a song you question is rock or not.  If you grew up in the city, a farm, or a jazz club, your favorite song is not rock, and you will have to repeat the first two steps.

If you have special techniques the designate whether a song is rock or not, feel free to comment.

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