The Changing of the Seasons

Mmmm.  The autumn winds blow in every year and always bring changes.  The refreshing fall zephyrs always carry the stagnant smells of garbage and dead rats away for another year.  The cooling temperatures bring cooling crime rates as well, allowing for less competition.  The fall is truly a magical time of the year.

The changing of the leaves into their palette of autumnal hues always reminds me of my favorite fall time activity: making effigies.  No season of the year provides more resources for building affective effigies.  The ground is carpeted with dry, brittle leaves – perfect for stuffing into burlap sacks with the names of your enemies hastily scrawled across them in red paint.  I usually make effigies for Buford Roe, my cheating ex-wife, tax assessors, that guy with that dog, and Barack Obama – though I make my effigies racially ambiguous as to not offend.

Autumn Effigy
Maybe now the mailman will remember where to deliver my Entertainment Weekly.

Once you get the effigy tied to the tree and set it on fire, get ready because those leaves are going to burn quick.  You won’t have time to knock on the person your effigy represent’s door so be sure to bring a rock to throw through a window.  This will give an added, desired effect.  Like most things, effigies are only illegal if you get caught, but their messages are priceless.

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